Two Families, Two Heirlooms: Making New Rings for Two Brides

Two brides can use heirlooms from both families in four main ways: mix one stone from each family into each ring, swap stones, reuse gold in two new bands, or keep one piece whole. The best choice depends on what each piece is made of, its condition, and how each family feels about change. If both pieces have several small stones, each ring can carry one stone from each family. If each piece has one main stone, swapping lets each bride wear her partner's family stone. If one family wants its piece left alone, keep that piece whole and use the other piece for the new rings. Bring both pieces in together, so a jeweller can see what the two give you to work with.

Yes, each new ring can hold one stone from each family if the two family pieces have enough stones and the stones are in good condition. This way, each bride wears both families on her own hand every day. Two stones side by side is the idea behind the toi et moi ring, a French name meaning you and me. Stones of different sizes, shapes or colours can still sit together if the setting is drawn to balance them. A jeweller first checks each stone for chips and wear, since GIA says pear and marquise shapes with exposed points can chip. At Vanhess the design is drawn on screen and quoted before metal is cast, so you see both rings first.

Yes, you can swap family stones so each bride wears the stone from her partner's family. This works well when each heirloom has one main stone, such as a single diamond or sapphire. The two new rings can share one design, so they look like a pair while each stone keeps its own family history. Before the swap, a jeweller checks each stone for chips, cracks and worn edges, and checks how tough the gem type is. GIA says opal, tanzanite and emerald are not tough gems, so a swapped emerald may be safer in a pendant than in a ring worn every day. Ask each family before you begin, since a swap moves a stone into another family's hands.

Gold from two families can often be used again in new bands, but a jeweller has to check each piece first, so ask us what we can make with the gold you have. The karat of each piece matters, because gold of two different karats changes when it is combined. In Canada, the Competition Bureau says 10, 14 and 18 karat gold may be marked .417, .583 and .750, and it also accepts 417, 583 and 750. Pieces from other countries may carry other marks. The new design may need some new gold too, depending on the width and weight of the bands. Our page on recasting heirloom gold explains the steps from melting to finishing, so you know what to expect before the first visit.

Before reusing an heirloom stone, a jeweller checks the stone for chips, cracks and worn edges, identifies the gem type, and asks about any treatments. GIA says diamonds with thin girdles or exposed points, such as pear and marquise shapes, can chip. GIA also says emerald treatments can be damaged by ultrasonic cleaning, so an older emerald needs gentle handling. The jeweller then looks at how tough the gem is and where on the body it will be worn. GIA suggests saving less tough gems in rings for special occasions, or setting them in earrings and necklaces instead. Bring any papers you have, such as an old appraisal or a receipt, because they help identify the stone and its history faster.

The numbers stamped inside an old gold ring usually show how much gold the metal contains. In Canada, the Competition Bureau's guide says 10, 14 and 18 karat gold may be marked .417, .583 and .750, and it also accepts these numbers without the decimal point. The same guide allows karat marks such as 14K or 18K for gold of 9 karat or higher. It says a quality mark must come with a trademark that is registered or applied for. Older pieces, or pieces made in another country, can carry different numbers or symbols. Look inside the band with a magnifying glass, take a clear photo in good light, and bring the ring in so we can read the marks together and explain them.

If one family wants their heirloom kept whole, keep that piece as it is and use the other family's piece for the new rings. The whole piece can still play a part, worn on the right hand, worn on a chain, or carried on the wedding day as something old. This choice avoids a hard talk later and lets each family feel respected. The new rings can echo the kept piece, for example by copying its metal colour, its stone shape or a pattern on its band. Take clear photos of the kept piece, so the designer can match those details on screen. Then the two new rings still connect both families, even though only one family piece was taken apart and changed.

Yes, it helps to get your heirlooms appraised before remaking them, because an appraisal records what each piece was before it changed. A written appraisal describes the stones and metal and gives a value, which is useful for insurance and for any family talk about who owns what. It also helps if the pieces are part of an estate that is being divided. Ask for photos to be included, so both families keep a record of the original design. Our article on appraising jewellery for an estate or family division explains the process in more detail. Keep the appraisal with your new ring papers and the design drawing, so the full history of both family pieces stays together in one place.