Third Anniversary Stone: Pearl
The third wedding anniversary stone is the pearl, soft and organic. Here's what it is, how it holds up to everyday wear, and how to turn it into a piece worth keeping.
Key takeaways
- The third anniversary stone is the pearl on both the traditional and modern lists, according to the International Gem Society.
- Pearls are organic, grown inside molluscs rather than mined, which makes them softer and more delicate than mineral gems.
- Pearls are soft, with a Mohs hardness of about 2.5 to 4.5, so they scratch and dull far more easily than most stones.
- Perfume, hairspray, and even sweat can eat into a pearl's surface, so pearls go on last and come off first.
- A pearl necklace should be restrung every year or two if worn often, because the silk thread wears and stretches.
- Vanhess handles pearl setting and restringing in-house at our Coquitlam studio, so a knotted strand can be built or repaired properly.
What is the 3rd anniversary stone?
The third anniversary stone is the pearl, and both the traditional and modern lists agree on it, so there is nothing to untangle this year. The pearl sits at year three on the classic list and on the modern list alike, as set out by the International Gem Society. What makes the pearl different from every other anniversary stone is that it is not a stone at all in the usual sense. It is organic, and that changes how you buy it and how you look after it.
What a pearl actually is
A pearl grows inside a living mollusc, an oyster or a mussel, as the animal coats an irritant with layer after layer of nacre, the same material that lines the shell. That is why pearls have their soft inner glow rather than the sparkle of a cut gem: light is passing through many thin layers of nacre and bouncing back. Colours run from white and cream through to soft pink, silver, gold, and the deep grey-black of Tahitian pearls. Because a pearl is built from nacre rather than a hard crystal, it is genuinely soft. On the Mohs hardness scale, which measures scratch resistance, a pearl sits at only about 2.5 to 4.5. To put that in context, that is softer than a copper coin. You can see how far below other gems that falls in the IGS durability guide, and there is more on types and grading on our pearl page.
Why the pearl for the third year
The pearl has stood for the third anniversary for a long time, and the symbolism is easy to like without leaning on anything mystical. A pearl is made slowly, one layer at a time, out of something that started as an irritation. Three years into a marriage, that is a fair picture of what has happened: the small frictions of early life together have been worn smooth and turned into something with a quiet shine. It is a gentle, honest emblem for the milestone, which is probably why it has stuck.
Choosing a pearl piece
The classic third-anniversary gift is a strand of pearls, and it earns the reputation. A single well-matched necklace suits almost every neckline and every age. But do not overlook the alternatives. A pair of pearl stud earrings is the easiest daily piece and the least exposed to knocks. A pearl pendant on a fine chain is a softer, more modern look than a full strand. A pearl ring is lovely but the riskiest choice, because a ring takes the most abuse and a pearl is soft, so if you go that way, ask for a setting that lets the pearl sit protected.
- Safest and most classic: a knotted pearl necklace or a pair of studs.
- Modern: a single pearl pendant on a delicate chain.
- Handle with care: a pearl ring, worn on occasions rather than daily.
Caring for pearls
Because pearls are soft and organic, they need more care than any mineral gem, but the rules are simple. Put pearls on last, after perfume, hairspray, and make-up, and take them off first. Those products, and even the acids in sweat, slowly eat into the nacre and dull the glow. Never clean pearls in an ultrasonic cleaner or with any chemical dip; wipe them with a soft damp cloth and let them dry flat. Store them separately from harder jewellery so nothing scratches them, and lay a strand flat rather than hanging it, so the thread does not stretch. If you wear a strand often, have it restrung every year or two, because the silk thread between the knots wears and can eventually snap.
Because Vanhess has a goldsmith on-site in Coquitlam, pearl work is done properly and in-house. We knot and restring strands by hand, replace worn threads before they break, and set loose pearls into pendants, earrings, and rings. If you would like a made-to-order pearl piece, our bespoke anniversary work is the place to start, and the full anniversary stones guide shows what comes in later years.
Turn your third anniversary stone into a piece you’ll wear
Bring the year, the stone and a rough budget. Our on-site goldsmith in Coquitlam will design it with you — reset a stone you already own, or build something new around the right gem.
Prefer to talk? Call our studio at (604) 653-6449.Frequently asked questions
What is the 3rd anniversary stone?
The pearl is the stone for the third anniversary on both the traditional and modern lists. Unlike other anniversary gems, a pearl is organic, grown inside a mollusc rather than mined from the ground.
Why are pearls so much softer than other gems?
A pearl is built from layers of nacre, the same material that lines a shell, rather than a hard crystal. That gives it a soft glow but also makes it delicate, at only about 2.5 to 4.5 on the Mohs hardness scale.
Can I wear a pearl ring every day?
It is not the best idea. A ring takes more knocks than any other piece, and pearls are soft, so a pearl ring is better kept for occasions. Studs or a pendant are far safer for daily wear.
How do I care for pearls?
Put them on last, after perfume and hairspray, and take them off first, because those products dull the nacre. Wipe them with a soft damp cloth, never use chemicals or an ultrasonic cleaner, and store them separately so they do not get scratched.
How often should a pearl necklace be restrung?
If you wear it often, every year or two. The silk thread between the knots gradually wears and stretches, and restringing before it snaps saves you from losing pearls. We restring by hand at our Coquitlam studio.
What colours do pearls come in?
White and cream are the most familiar, but pearls also come in soft pink, silver, gold, and the deep grey-black of Tahitian pearls. The right colour depends on skin tone and the look you want.
Are pearl studs a good anniversary gift?
Yes. A pair of pearl studs is the easiest daily piece, suits almost anyone, and sits protected in the earlobe where it takes the fewest knocks. It is a safe, classic third-anniversary choice.
Can Vanhess set or repair pearls?
Yes. We have a goldsmith on-site in Coquitlam, so we knot and restring strands by hand, replace worn threads, and set loose pearls into pendants, earrings, and rings.