Matching Necklaces for Two Women: Pairs, Halves and Initials

Matching necklaces for a female couple come in five common forms: two halves of one shape, one pendant in two sizes, one design in two metals, swapped initials, and birthstones. The doubled female sign is a sixth choice for couples who want a symbol with a clear meaning. Start with the idea that feels most like the two of you, then adjust each piece to the person who wears it. For example, a larger disc can suit a partner who likes bold jewellery, while a smaller disc suits a partner who prefers small pieces. Keep one detail the same on both, such as the shape, the metal or the letter style. That one shared detail is what makes two different necklaces read as a pair, even when you wear them on different days in different places.

Two matching necklaces do not need to be in the same metal, because the shared design already links them. If one of you wears only yellow gold and the other only white gold, each partner should wear the metal she likes. In that case, make the same pendant shape in both metals, with the same size of chain links if you can. If you both like the same metal, one metal makes the pair look closer at a glance. A third choice is two-tone, where each pendant mixes both metals in the same pattern. Bring the jewellery you each wear most days when you come in to choose, so each necklace sits well with the rings and earrings already on that person.

Each of you should choose a chain length for your own neck and your usual necklines, even if the pendants match. A chart from the jeweller Borsheims says a 16 inch chain sits on top of the collarbone, while an 18 inch chain falls just below it. The same chart says a 20 inch chain sits a few inches below the collarbone. If one partner wears crew-neck tops most days, a longer chain lets the pendant rest on the fabric. If the other wears open collars, a shorter chain keeps the pendant in view. Measure with a piece of string around your neck while wearing your usual top, then lay the string flat against a ruler and write down the length for each of you.

A split heart necklace can be made in solid gold, and each half can be cut so it looks finished when worn alone. The cut line matters most, because most days the two halves are worn apart, by two different people in two different places. A smooth, clean edge is more comfortable than a jagged one and is less likely to catch on knitwear or hair. If you want a shape other than a heart, such as a circle, a moon or a shape that means something to you both, ask us what we can make. Each custom piece is drawn on screen and quoted before any metal is cast. That way you see both halves together on the screen, and you know the full price, before you decide.

With swapped initial necklaces, each woman wears her partner's first initial instead of her own. The two pendants then look like a set, and each one carries the other person's name with you during the day. A small disc with one engraved letter is easy to wear to work and easy to layer with other chains. Use the same letter style on both pendants, because a script letter on one and a block letter on the other will look like two separate gifts. If you share a last name, or plan to after the wedding, one shared initial on both pendants is another choice. Write the letters out in the shop and look at them side by side before you order, since engraved pieces cannot be returned.

A soft birthstone like opal can go in a pendant, and a pendant is one of the safest places for it. GIA says earrings and necklaces are less likely than rings to hit a hard surface, so they suit gems that are less tough. GIA names opal and tanzanite as gems to protect, and for rings it suggests saving them for special occasions. In a pendant, a bezel setting, where metal surrounds the stone, gives the edge extra cover. Take the necklace off for the gym, for swimming and for cleaning with household chemicals. If your partner's birthstone is October, GIA also lists tourmaline for that month, which gives you a second stone to look at in the shop before you choose one of the two.

Two different pendants can still look like a matching pair when they share one clear detail. The shared detail can be the metal, the outline, the type of stone, the engraving style or the chain. For example, one partner can wear a round disc with an initial and the other a round disc with a birthstone, and the round shape links them. This works well for couples whose styles differ, because each woman gets a piece she will want to wear every day. Pick the shared detail first, then let each pendant change in the ways that suit each person. Lay both pieces side by side on the counter before you buy, and check that the link between them is easy to see from a normal distance.

To layer a couple necklace with your other chains, give each chain its own length so the pendants do not tangle or sit on top of each other. Put the couple pendant on the chain where you most want people to see it, which is often the shortest chain. Then add one or two longer chains below it, using lengths such as the 16, 18 and 20 inch lengths described in the Borsheims chart. Plain chains with no pendant make good layers, because they add shine without competing with the couple piece. Fasten the chains one at a time and check them in a mirror before you leave the house. Our guide on how to layer necklaces shows more ways to combine lengths.