Gifts Between Brides: Wedding Morning, Anniversary and Thank-You Jewellery
Two brides often give each other a letter and a small piece of jewellery on the wedding morning. Agree on a budget range first, then choose either something she can wear that day or something she will keep, such as an engraved pendant. This page also covers anniversary jewellery between wives, gifts for bridesmaids and best women, and gifts for two mothers of the bride.
Gifts in a wedding with two brides
A wedding with two brides has many gift moments. You may give each other a gift on the wedding morning. You will each have friends and family who helped, and two mothers of the bride to thank. Then the anniversaries begin. This page covers the jewellery side of each of these. For the rings themselves, see wedding bands for two brides.
A gift for each other on the wedding morning
A small gift and a letter, given while you get ready in separate rooms, is one way to start the day. In a WeddingWire forum thread about gifts for a bride, one woman wrote that she likes letters for the bride to read on the morning of the wedding. A letter with a small piece of jewellery is a simple way to do it.
Two brides means two gifts, and that raises questions. Do you both give one? Should they cost the same? Should they match? Talk about it early. Agree on a budget range together, or agree that each gift will be a letter and one small piece. Then each of you can surprise the other within that plan. Decide too whether you open the gifts apart or together. Opening them apart, with a friend there to take photos, keeps the surprise until you see each other.
Gift ideas for the wedding morning:
- Something to wear that day. Earrings, a pendant or cufflinks chosen for her outfit. This needs help from someone who has seen her outfit, so the piece fits the look. Our page on bridal jewellery for two brides explains how to match necklines and metals.
- Something to keep for later. A piece she will wear after the wedding, such as a bracelet or a pendant with the wedding date engraved on the back.
- Something that pairs with your gift. Two pendants that make one shape when put together, or the same small charm in two metals.
If one bride is wearing a suit, cufflinks or a lapel pin can be the gift. Our page on jewellery for a bride in a suit explains what fits a suit.
Engraved gifts
Engraving turns a simple piece into a gift that belongs only to her. Good places to engrave are the back of a pendant, the inside of a bracelet, the back of a cufflink or the inside of a ring. Short text fits best: a date, two initials, a word from your vows or the time you said them.
At Vanhess, hand engraving takes a day once a ring is made and sized. We can also take fingerprint scans for engraving, so her gift can carry your fingerprint. Engraved and personalised pieces cannot be returned, so check every letter and number before you order. For more ideas, see our pages on engraving ideas for two brides and wedding band engraving.
Keeping a gift secret when you live together
If you already live together, a secret gift is harder to hide. A few practical steps help. Ask for all messages about the order to go to your own phone and email. Have the gift collected by, or sent to, a friend in the wedding party, who can bring it on the morning. Wrap it before it comes into the house.
Anniversary jewellery between wives
Anniversaries give you a reason to add to the jewellery you started with. Traditional lists give a gemstone or material for each year. Our anniversary stones guide lists them, and our article on anniversary jewellery by year gives ideas for each one.
Ideas that suit two wives:
- Take turns. One wife chooses a piece for the other on even years, and the other chooses on odd years.
- Matching pieces. The same pendant or bracelet for both of you, in each wife's metal.
- Adding to your stack. An anniversary band next to your engagement ring and wedding band. Our article on eternity vs anniversary bands explains the difference.
- One stone each year. A pendant or bracelet designed so a stone can be added each year.
Some anniversary stones are soft. GIA says diamond is the hardest gemstone and gives sapphire a 9 on the Mohs scale, but describes emerald, opal and tanzanite as gems that are not tough. GIA suggests keeping softer stones for special occasions or setting them in pieces less likely to be knocked. For a ring worn every day, choose a hard stone, and put softer anniversary stones in earrings or a pendant.
Gifts for the women in the wedding party
With two brides, the wedding party often has two sides. In The Knot and Q.Digital LGBTQ Weddings Study 2017, a US survey of 821 people, 58% of female couples had a maid of honour, 16% a best woman, 22% a best man and 14% a man of honour. So your attendants may be women, men or both, and each bride may want to thank her own people.
Decide together whether you give one gift to every attendant from both of you, or whether each bride chooses gifts for her own side. One gift for everyone looks fair in photos. Separate gifts let each bride pick what suits her friends.
Jewellery ideas for attendants:
- A birthstone pendant or studs for each person, using their own birth month. Our birthstones guide lists the stone for each month.
- An initial pendant for each person.
- Cufflinks or a tie bar for attendants in suits.
- The same small earrings for everyone, in each person's choice of metal.
Check whether each person has pierced ears before choosing earrings, and ask about metal allergies quietly.
When to give attendant gifts
Advice on timing differs. In a WeddingWire thread on gift giving as a bride, one woman wrote that it is traditional to give the wedding party something on the wedding day as a thank-you, and another said the thank-you gift should come after the wedding. In another WeddingWire thread on wedding party gifts, one poster advised against items meant only for the day, listing jewellery among them, and suggested gifts that fit each person's interests.
A way to solve both points: if you give jewellery before the wedding to wear on the day, choose something each person will wear again. If the gift is for after the wedding, pick something chosen for that person alone.
Gifts for both mothers
A wedding with two brides often has two mothers of the bride. If you give one mother a gift, give the other one too, with the same level of care. The two pieces can differ in design. A pendant with the wedding date, a bracelet with a charm, or a piece with each family's birthstones all work. If one bride's mother has died, the other bride can give her wife a piece set with her mother's birthstone, to wear on the day and keep after. Our pages on Mother's Day gifts and gifts for your wife have more ideas.
Two proposal dates
Some female couples have two proposals to remember. In The Knot's 2017 survey, 17% of female couples said both partners proposed. If that is you, each proposal date can become its own small gift day. A charm added to a bracelet on each date, or the two dates engraved on the back of a pendant for each of you, marks both proposals. Our page on who proposes in a same-sex couple covers the proposals themselves.
For guests: a gift for two brides
If you are a guest buying jewellery for a couple of two brides, avoid rings, because you will not know their sizes. Pieces that do not need a size work better: two pendants that pair, two bracelets, or one keepsake engraved with the wedding date. If you want both brides to wear your gift, choose the same design in each bride's metal, or ask a close friend of the couple which metals they wear. A gift receipt helps, since ready-made pieces at Vanhess can be returned within 30 days.
Timing and practical points
- A custom piece at Vanhess takes 5 to 8 weeks from consultation to collection. Each one is drawn on screen and quoted from the drawing before any metal is cast.
- Ready-made pieces can be returned within 30 days. Personalised and engraved pieces cannot be returned.
- Shipping is free in Canada on orders over $60.
- Every piece has a 2 year warranty.
Pendants to give each other
Pendants that can be engraved on the back with a date or initials, for the wedding morning or an anniversary.
18k Gold Persia Outline PendantFrom $220 CAD
Pearl Blossom NecklaceFrom $135 CAD
Reverse Clover spark NecklaceFrom $770 CAD
Herringbone NecklaceFrom $85 CAD
18K Gold Immortal Names PendantFrom $220 CAD
Linked in Love Chain NecklaceFrom $120 CAD
Gemsign Ruby Charm NecklaceFrom $165 CAD
Gemsign Citrine Charm NecklaceFrom $165 CAD
Sources
- WeddingWire forums, Creative thoughtful gift for bride from bridesmaid?, 2017-07-27. Accessed 2026-10-18.
- GIA 4Cs, More than the Mohs Scale: Understanding Gem Durability, 2016-03-14. Accessed 2026-10-18.
- The Knot Worldwide, Personalization Prevails and Traditions Get A Twist Among Same-Sex Weddings, According to The Knot & Q.Digital LGBTQ Weddings Study 2017, 2017-06-23, survey of 821 US respondents. Accessed 2026-10-18.
- WeddingWire forums, Gift Giving as a Bride, 2021-10-11. Accessed 2026-10-18.
- WeddingWire forums, Gifts, 2021-04-28. Accessed 2026-10-18.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do brides give each other gifts on the wedding day?
Brides can give each other a small gift and a letter on the wedding morning, while they get ready in separate rooms. It is a choice, and there is no rule. Two brides can agree to both give a gift, to give only letters, or to exchange gifts after the ceremony. Talk about it early so neither bride is left without a gift for the other.
What jewellery should I give my bride on our wedding morning?
The best wedding morning jewellery for your bride is either a piece she can wear that day or a piece she will keep wearing after. For the day, choose earrings or a pendant that fit her outfit, with help from someone who has seen it. For later, choose a bracelet or a pendant with the wedding date engraved on the back.
Should two brides spend the same amount on gifts for each other?
Two brides can spend different amounts on gifts for each other. Agreeing on a range first avoids an awkward moment. Set a budget range together, or agree that each gift is a letter and one small piece. Within that plan, each bride can still surprise the other with what she chooses.
What can I engrave on the back of a pendant for my bride?
The back of a pendant for your bride can hold a short engraving, such as your wedding date, your two initials, a word from your vows or the time of the ceremony. Short text reads best on a small surface. At Vanhess we can also take fingerprint scans for engraving. Engraved pieces cannot be returned, so check spelling twice.
What should I give my wife for our first wedding anniversary?
A first wedding anniversary gift for your wife can be a piece of jewellery she can wear often, like a pendant, a bracelet or a band to add to her ring stack. Our anniversary stones guide lists the traditional stone for each year. If the stone for your year is soft, put it in a pendant or earrings, since soft stones in rings get knocked.
Can we give each other matching anniversary jewellery?
Two wives can give each other matching anniversary jewellery, such as the same pendant or bracelet made in each wife's metal. Another idea is one design that adds a stone each year, so both pieces grow together. Matching pieces work best when the design is simple, so each wife can wear hers with her own rings.
What jewellery gifts work for bridesmaids and best women?
Good jewellery gifts for bridesmaids and best women are pieces each person will wear again, such as birthstone studs, an initial pendant or the same small earrings in each person's chosen metal. Check who has pierced ears and ask about metal allergies quietly. For attendants in suits, cufflinks or a tie bar can replace earrings.
Should both brides give gifts to both mothers?
Both mothers of the bride should receive a gift if either one does, so that neither mother feels left out. The two gifts can differ in design and still be equal in care. A pendant with the wedding date, a charm bracelet, or a piece with each family's birthstones are good choices for two mothers.
When should we give wedding party gifts?
Wedding party gifts can be given before the wedding, on the morning, or after the wedding as a thank-you. In a WeddingWire thread, one woman called a gift on the day traditional, while another preferred a thank-you after. If the gift is jewellery to wear on the day, choose something each person will wear again.
Is it okay to give bridesmaids jewellery to wear at the wedding?
Giving bridesmaids jewellery to wear at the wedding is fine, as long as each person will wear it again. One WeddingWire poster advised against items meant only for the day, and she listed jewellery among them. Choose pieces in each person's metal and style, such as birthstone studs, so the gift is for them after the wedding too.
How far ahead should I order an engraved wedding gift?
Order an engraved wedding gift at least 8 weeks ahead if it is a custom piece, because a custom piece at Vanhess takes 5 to 8 weeks from consultation to collection. Hand engraving takes a day once a ring is made and sized. Add a few extra days so you can check the engraving and wrap the gift.